“For the coming season, we will work to have staff present for certain events to assess sound levels after 10:00pm”
– David Cerron, NYC Parks, Dec 22 2017
Some say that #FakeNews was invented by Russian troll farms. Others say it was popularized by Donald Trump. We in Upper Manhattan know the truth — it has been around since at least 2012, when NYC Parks told us that they had opened a restaurant and marina concession on Dyckman Street. Residents were told that any claims it it was, in reality, a nightclub and concert venue awash in untraceable cash was #FakeNews.
“Everything is exactly per the lease“, is the usual Parks cry, even when the opposite is true. Try and tell them that La Marina has music acts that play well past 10 pm, outdoors, under massive speakers? Oh no — you get back:
La Marina has informed us that after 10:00pm they switch to their internal audio system, which was designed in consultation with a sound engineer. This system has limiters, compressors and other equipment that minimizes the volume and contains sound to the Licensed Premises.
Yeah, whatever. This website only has dozens of links and photos proving otherwise. And I’m pretty sure that outdoor speakers rated at 130 dB don’t magically stop sound from crossing property lines. And don’t forget, they aren’t concerts, they are “experiences that include music“. I mean, just look at the posters from 2017. These aren’t for kayak lessons:
And let’s not get into the various use of women’s bodies in posters last year either, because Parks swears it won’t happen again …. because La Marina has hired an intern to watch Twitter! (And it’s never happened before, right?)
With regard to advertisements, approved promotional material for beach events can be found on La Marina’s website and/or Facebook page. Their website was not functioning for most of June due to a site redesign, which may have contributed to the circulation of unapproved advertisements.
With that said, we agree that the event in question was not promoted appropriately by the event planner – we have expressed this sentiment to the concessionaire, and they have now assigned a staff person to search event-related online posts and ensure they are in keeping with the approved event. There also exist instances where individuals post event related content to social media through their personal account, and this is something neither Parks nor La Marina is able to control.
Just blame it on the website, nice one Parks. Or blame third parties, who maybe wouldn’t post inappropriate material if there wasn’t inappropriate use of the facilities in the first place. (Pretty sure no one posts bikini shots of the staff at New Leaf or Battery Gardens). I guess #TimesUp, but not for La Marina, right? Despite actual lawsuits…
Speaking of lawsuits, I guess the good news is that nobody went to jail last year. Got pretty close though. That’s what happens when you do a lot of fundraising for the incoming mayor to make sure that totally unrelated, coincidental things happen, like the city cancelling your audit or promoting a relative.
So what’s next for 2018? Probably exactly more of the same. More civic corruption. More concerts. More bikinis and exploitation. More police officers using tax dollars to babysit an illegal valet operation. More insane and completely never ever approved traffic madness locking down the entire neighborhood.
Just suck it up Inwood and realize that the law does not apply to you. After all, once those 30 story buildings arrive it will only be more bumpin’!